keeping secrets!

i am the worlds worst at keeping secrets! my kids know that i can't keep my mouth shut, especially when they tell me not to tell anyone! they are right most of the time, but not this time! misty and i go out to dinner every couple of weeks to have alone time with each other. the 2nd week in february we had made plans for thursday nite. she called and said that jeremy was going to join us. (he never joins us!) they came by to pick me up, but they both jumped out of the car. misty had to go use the bathroom before we left and jeremy followed her up the stairs (what was this about). when she came back in the living room, she asked it i was going to sit down, (started wondering  now). then they told me they were pregnant!!!! my baby is having a baby! and "oh mom, you can't tell anyone"......i saw trouble right away! me, keep a secret? could i do it? only renay, pam, cathy and steve knew, no one else. i needed to wait a week before they told sasha and bobbie, but i had to wait 5 weeks to talk about it to my family. it was the hardest secret i have ever kept (it may be the only secret i have ever kept!). i talk to my mom at least 3 or 4 times a week and she would ask how misty and jeremy were doing and i just said they were doing great and quickly changed the subject. finally, everyone knows, and i am able to breathe!
in case you didn't catch it, both of my kids are expecting this year. sasha, a boy in july, and misty in september. i will have 2 new babies to love on! they will join caroline in my little world of joy  (i may need a new recliner to hold all 3 of them)! i remember the unspoken prayer i prayed 7 years ago when i found out i had cancer...lord, please let me hold my first grandchild. he has answered that prayer and so much more. today i raise my hands with praise and thank you! so much love, so much joy! i am really liking this season of my life!!! thank you lord, for everything! (i am still not a fan of secrets!)

stronger in the broken places

these lyrics are from a song by mark harris.

Light shines the brightest 

In the moment of our desperation 

Hope somehow rises 

Through the rubble of our desolation 

There's a calm in the storm 

Though the winds around us rage 

So I hold to the truth 

You will bring me through 

The darkest of my days 

There is beauty in the suffering 

Hope can heal what hurt embraces 

Through it all I know you're making me 

Stronger in the broken places 

the words have been stuck in my mind and heart all week. over and over, waking up from a dead sleep, singing as i would wake up, driving in the car it would play on the radio. god knew i needed these words and put them in my head at a moment when i was feeling sorry for myself. 35 yrs ago today at the ripe old age of 18, i got married. that marriage officially ended 12 yrs ago, but the truth is that it ended much earlier than that. it took me a long time to figure things out. i have been reflecting on how i have much i have grown up, how much i have changed. enter this song!  i am so far from the person i thought i should be at this time in my life, yet, i am exactly who i am supposed to be. i see how much i have learned to love myself like my father loves me. i truly am stronger in the broken places. i am sure there are going to be days, weeks and months when the winds around me rage, but i can hold on to the truth. the truth that he has already brought me through  my darkest days. the truth that he gives me hope to heal the hurt that will embrace me. the past 35 yrs i have learned that god is always there, and if i keep my eyes on him, he will never let me down. so, pity party is over! i can't wait to see what he has in store for me next!