my heart grows

he is here! abram crosley moore. what an amazing little boy. his name comes from  the covenants god made with his people centuries ago. he came into the world with scripture being read by his father and his aunt. how amazing is that in itself. we anxiously awaited his arrival and he made his entrance into this world as if he was always here. my heart has doubled in size. this sweet little boy has already captured his grandmas heart. he is everything and yet he is only a couple of days old. he will learn that he has a big sister that will protect him and take up for him at all cost. he will learn that he is loved by many and that his family is most important, he will learn that his father is the head of his home and that he loves the lord, and that his mother is the spitting image of a proverbs 31 woman. we will learn together what a relationship between grandma and grandson will be. he may or may not like popsicles like his sister. but he will have his own special relationship with me that cannot be shared by anyone. i love you abram! forever you will know that i am your grandma. you will always have a safe place in my arms. i will rock you, i will love you, i will sing you songs until we find one that is our own. you can come to me anytime, even if you may not know that is where you need to be, in the loving arms of your grandma, who loves you no matter what. welcome to my world abram. i hope you feel the love i have for you and your sister. it is almost as immeasurable as the love jesus has for you. may he be your shining star always, and may your parents and i show you just a little bit of his love for you.

anticipation....

an-tic-i-pa-tion (an-tis-uh-pey-shuhn)

the act of anticipating or the state of being anticipated

realization in advance; fortaste

expectation or hope

previous notion; slight previous impression

intuition or foreknowledge

for most of my generation, you are hearing carly simon right about now! i am most anxiously awaiting the arrival of my first grandson and later this summer, my second grandson! they will join caroline as my treasures and my joy. i have had dreams in the past that have been shattered, stepped on and thrown in the trash. but these dreams i have now, these anticipations of caroline, her brother and her cousin (names to come!) are the dreams of the wonderful ride i am on as a grandma! dreams of what i know to be true. having been disappointed by expectations i have learned only to anticipate what is to come and to be ready when it happens. 

last christmas, i received a gift from sasha and bobbie that made my heart swell. i got the picture i wanted to put in it and have put it up in the wall where it belongs. above is a picture and this is what it says: 

 hold her a little longer, play 

guitar with her on the floor, 

give her a popsicle

 and then a million 

more. rub her back 

while she sleeps, cherish her 

every smile, she is only a child 

for just a little while. 

this is the joy i know! these are the dreams i have of the future. just time. time spent with the open heart of a child that loves me unconditionally. the anticipation of spending time with two little boys running wide open is already a dream, a dream i have already experienced with caroline. it doesn't matter how long i have left on this earth (an hour or another 30 yrs) i have been blessed with just this anticipation. i was thinking though, how much more does god anticipate our time spent with him?

waiting patiently for us to talk to him, just to give him our time. caroline is in the "why" stage, asking about everything. she is so hungry for information about anything. constantly talking and laughing making my heart smile. i am going to make an effort to take more time talking and laughing with my father. thanking him for all the little things, the morning coffee that smells so good, the moon as it shines surrounded by a ring of clouds, for the beauty of the green leaves on the trees against a vibrant blue sky. for the answered prayer, praising him for his amazing grace and mercy he so freely gives, worship him with song. i want the same anticipation for spending time with him that i have with my grandkids. "good morning lord, how about some one on one today?"