alba

i had the wonderful opportunity growing up to have a foreign exchange student live with us my sophomore year in high school. she was from paraguay. after the disappointment of not having some male student from europe, i accepted the fact that i was to have a girl from south america come to live with us. she had her english translation book that she carried everywhere. she actually learned english very quickly, with three of us in twin beds in a room, we got to know each other very quickly. she showed me how with strength and determination you could accomplish anything! we spent the year learning about each other and each others cultures. in 1989 i visited her with my sister in paraguay. it was hot and the luxuries we count on every day were not readily available there. it was very different than what we were used to. very third world living, down to the donkey delivering the milk each day. and come to find out, the medical world was very third world. she developed breast cancer and had no resources for treatment. my parents had the drugs she needed for chemo mailed to her. as a survivor of the same desease, years later, this haunts me. i had the medical treatment i needed and survived. she didn't and she died. she died from the very disease that i had. i don't know why, i just know it is. i am so blessed to be alive today, to enjoy my kids, caroline and the two precious boys to come. but i know that if she were her today, she would be so proud of her daughters and son. what amazing kids, to have lost both their parents in such a short time, to become amazing adults. i don't know why we are availed different treatments in different parts of the world. no, it isn't fair. yes it is wrong. my heart breaks for every daughter and son that loses their mom to this terrible disease. but i know she is looking down on her kids smiling! knowing that she left them strong, as strong as she was, to carry on. i miss you alba, you were my sister and i wish we could share stories about our grandkids together. you taught me tolerance and love. and to laugh at the little things. i hope you are looking down smiling, maybe even laughing that wonderful laugh! i love you sweet lady!

for the record!

i am serving on jury duty this week! i actually count it as a privilege to do so, plus the fact that i don't have to go to work, i can crochet and play on the ipad as i wait. it has been a long time since i served on a jury. to really think about having the responsibility to judge anothers actions is a bit scary. of course then there are all the questions you have to answer in order to be selected. and all of those answers are on the record. only i would have to be honest about using drugs and thinking pot should be legal...seriously, out loud after he said my name, only i answered that question with a yes, the rest of the 29 folks said no. but being in the courtroom with the judges and attorneys, i got an idea of why sasha is a lawyer. i love seeing the truth win, and justice given. but i find that i may not be the right person for this job. i tend to always side with the underdog and always look for redemption. as i am writing this, i realize the redemption given to me, from god, from my family, from myself. no matter what our situation in life, redemption is always available. yes, we still have to suffer the consequences, but there is always redemption. jesus redeemed all of our sins, past, present and future, when he died on the cross. there is nothing we can do to keep him from loving us. when one of us loses our way, he always leaves the flock to find us and return us to his loving arms. so, right here, right now, i admit to using drugs and thinking pot should be legalized for medicinal purposes for the record. right here, right now, for the record....i have been redeemed!

the woman of my son's heart

"therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. so they are no longer two but one" mark 10

they are no longer two but one! they became three, yet they are still one family! my heart is overwhelmed this morning as i look through pictures of this amazing family. brought together with love by their father in heaven, and grew with the joyous caroline! next year there will be a family of four walking on the beach, holding each other up as they go. i had the opportunity to spend yesterday morning to celebrate bobbie and my grandson! over the years i have come to love her as my own. she is an amazing woman of god! a wonderful wife to my son, and has his heart! and a gentle, loving mother to caroline! growing every day in each of her roles, not to mention the growing signs of her son! a mother always dreams of that perfect partner for their children! my son has that in this gracious woman of god! which makes this mother extremely grateful!