pollyanna

you know those times you ask god to speak to you, and when you finally start listening, you hear something you really didn't want to hear? i have been searching for ways to improve my walk and grow closer to him, to be able to hear him. so, when i was silent and really listened, i heard from him. it wasn't what i wanted to hear. in a still soft voice to my heart...which was louder than anything i have heard in a long time.."stop looking for the worst in other christians". it hit me right up side my head. i usually try to see the good in everyone, except those that are my brothers and sisters in christ. in those, i try to see something wrong, something they may be doing that doesn't live up to MY expectations. who am i to question or judge anyone, let alone my fellow christians. so i have been searching for the "glad passages". the ones pollyanna told the preacher about. the preacher was so focused on all the bad, he failed to see the good and the glad. pollyanna is one of my favorite movies, even now in my 50's. she sees the good in everyone and everything. i probably need to watch it again, to remind me of another time and place when i was innocent and my mind wasn't cluttered.
lord, help me to see the good in everything you have made. may you continue to teach me and mold me into the woman you have designed me to be. make me aware of when i am judging, criticizing, and just being mean. turn my heart to you, and let me be glad!

he sees a miracle!

seven years...it has been seven years since i heard the words "you have cancer"! not once during that time did i question god "why me?". i heard a singer say "when we look in the mirror, we see what we want to see! when god looks at us, he sees a mirror". i am a miracle in more ways than just surviving breast cancer. i am a daughter, a sister, a mother, a grandmother, an aunt, a great aunt and ms kim to many! i see each one of these as a miracle. i am getting two new grandchildren this year. i am walking without pain with my new knee! i am 81 pounds lighter than a year ago. i have a mirror as i walk out the door, a gift from my sister and parents, so i can look at my reflection through gods eyes. i am beautiful, i am worthy of suffering, i am blessed by forgivness, grace and mercy! for each morning when my feet hit the floor, i am a miracle! so my question is "why not me?". my whole life has been a journey to where i am today. and today, i am laughing and leaping and praising god for his miracle that i call me!

the curtain

"and the curtain was torn" in that moment, jesus was apart from god. in that moment, the anguish, despair, the agony and the pain, was for me. for all my sin, for my transgressions, for my idolatry, for me. just for me. i killed him and he let me. no questions asked, he just did. was i worthy, no. was i deserving, no. did he deserve it, no. a man with no sin in his heart, took all of mine, without question. the curtain was torn! in order for me to enter the realm of our lord, the curtain had to be removed. in order for my eternal salvation, he had to die for me, just for me. and even today, his grace and mercy are available to me no matter what. all my shortcomings, my sins, my transgressions he bore on that cross of long ago. and today, he is living in me. no, i don't deserve it, but he gives me grace anyway. his mercy is ever present as i walk through this world. for god so loved the whole world, he gave his only son, just for me. i am his miracle. he sees me as his miracle! reserection sunday is upon us! let us rejoice and be glad! for the reason of christianity isn't the birth of jesus, it is his resurection! he died for me! he rose so that i would also rise again! to spend an eternity with my lord, my savior! oh happy day!