5 years

today i met with dr susan winchester. the most amazing breast surgeon ever. when she gave me and the kids my cancer diagnosis 5 years ago, she prayed with us. we knew the day before that i had cancer. she had told the lab to make sure they tested my biopsy before they left, and made an appointment with us to meet the next day. misty and i knew then that the news wasn't going to be good. as the kids and i left the office the following day, we actually laughed, who was going to call everyone. we wanted sasha to send a mass text message so we wouldn't actually have to talk to anyone.
5 years. they have flown by. i have one more appointment with my oncologist and i am finished. what a journey it has been.

i actually found my lump 5 years ago this month. a coworker had announced she had cancer. it made me diligent in doing my self exam. that is when i found it. right there, as big as my thumb. i had always known that i would get breast cancer someday, that day, i knew was here. it took forever for may 12th to get here. that day they took it all out. then there was chemo, shaving of the heads, learning of my ex husbands long term affair, forgiveness, radiation, pneumonia, spinal surgery, cataract surgery, more forgiveness, sinus surgery, knee surgery, more sinus surgery, immunoglobulin infusions every month, now every two months and finally we are here.

5 years. in that time i have had the pleasure of getting a son-in-law, daughter-in-law, and received the wonderful opportunity to become a grandmother to a wonderful little girl. she will be 2 in may. the only prayer i had that day 5 yrs ago was "lord please let me live long enough to meet my grandchild". not only did he answer that prayer, but so much more. i have been healed, been forgiven, have forgiven, been blessed with a granddaughter, been healed again...my heart. over and over again, god has shown me who he is and how much he loves me.

flashback: feb 2005- i actually shot guns, the kind i wouldn't allow my kids to have the toy versions of. all kinds of guns. i wanted to face my fears and my friends from work thought they would help me out. you know, the kind of guns with bullets, the ones that leave bruises on your shoulder. on the way home, god called me back to his church. 2 months later i had cancer. wow, his timing is awesome. cancer all over my body is what they told me, god had other plans. breast cancer it was, that's all it was.

my cancer journey is almost over, my new normal has emerged, i am here today because of his mercy and grace. april 22nd is my 5 year mark. who knew how wonderful getting cancer could be. don't get me wrong, it really sucked, chemo, radiation and all of the darkness. but the light that came afterward somehow changed the darkness to a beautiful sunrise.
now for the next season of my life! can't wait to see what happens. i feel like scarlett...tomorrow is another day!