52 and counting

i turned 52 this week. i have spent a lot of time this week reflecting on my life. i never thought i would be who i am now 40 yrs ago. i imagined myself growing old with a husband, children and grand children. my life was to have been perfect. great house, good job, adoring husband, wonderful kids....the hardest thing in my life would have been which car to buy next. fast forward to reality. what a trip....so far from the imagined life i thought i would have. but so much richer. i have so much more than i deserve. i am alive, have wonderful kids, an amazing relationship with the my granddaughter, a home, a job, health insurance and above all else, i have the peace that only my god can give. i still have dreams, dreams from the past, dreams for the present, and dreams for the future. i want to love again, i want someone to share the rest of my life with. i dream of giving of myself and my home to those who have no one and nothing. i have all this room here, and no one to take care of. that is what i long to do. take care of and love someone who doesn't really know what it is like to be special. i don't know what the rest of my life has in store for me, but i do know that there is something there. right around the corner. waiting to surprise me again. happy birthday self, it is going to be a great year!