i am watching "freedom riders" brandt ayers says "people in the south felt 'i am being asked to live in a different way, i am asked to have different attitudes, i am asked to behave differently, and as i am being made to do all of these things, there are people who come on the tv in my own living room, that tell me that i am a red neck, and i am a racist and i am all of these things, and by god i'd just like to punch some of them damn agitators, right in the face. i gotta hate somebody, i gotta hate somebody'" i love the south, the history, all of it! gone with the wind was my favorite movie, to kill a mockingbird ran a close second. anything southern, i payed close attention to. i find racism here. but i also find a way of life that doesn't exist anywhere else. yes ma'am, no sir, what kin i git for you sir. and as i am watching this, my ex is getting married again. he hated what the south stood for. he hated all of it. growing up in such hatred.  renay and i have raised our kids differently. love was the answer. i should have been a hippie! peace, love and all that goes with it. i am at a turning point in my life. but i will never forget what i was taught, what i saw. people hated each other. blacks, whites, and claimed to be christians all the while. my god loves all people, saints, sinners, and those of many colors, and tonight i love them both, renay and pam. for, only god can forgive, only he can set right, only he can set me free. free to love again. to know that only he alone can give me that, love that will truly last forever. no man, no one, but only he can give me that.