it has been a rough four days but i have endured and god has taught me a great lesson! the surgery went well. i was not in as much pain as i thought i would be in, but painful enough! i hadn't been sleeping much the week before and the first couple nights afterwards. i started to medicate before i thought the pain would come back and i must have lost count and the times i took my pain pills. tuesday morning sasha asked if i was still drunk. misty, bobbie and mom had also noticed i was slurring my words. by wednesday morning i got scared and thought i may have had a stroke. sasha took me to the emergency room and they admitted me that night. after numerous tests and finding all were normal they released me thursday evening! i was so tired i slept for nine hours! enter the guilt. i guess i knew thursday afternoon that this whole ordeal was me over medicating and not sleeping. that will not happen again. through this god showed me once again that he is in control and i can't handle being in charge. today i am still in quite a bit of pain, but only in the area that they cut me and where they put the battery in. the previous pain from my back problem isn't there anymore. i hope to feel my toes any day now.
why is it that we feel the need to take over our lives, when time after time we fail, and fail miserably? we are human, but god seems to bring us back to humility with our mistakes and by his amazing grace we are healed inside and out! so, for now, until i feel the need to take on his role again, i am giving it all to him!
on a different note, i lost my uncle this last weekend. uncle monty, my mom's brother. oh how he made me laugh! he reminded me so much of my grandpa in that way! his children are his legacy and he was loved by many! but today i picture him with my grandparents, laughing, telling jokes and dancing with grandma. rip uncle monty, you will be missed by many!
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