it always amazes me to see a dream fulfilled, even if it isn't exactly the picture of the dream you had. as a kid, i dreamed of the thing little girls always dream of. married, kids, grandkids and life happily ever after. we all know it isn't that easy. when dreams are crashed into the ground and i forget the promises god gave me, i am devastated. when dreams are crashed into the ground and i remember the promises god gave me, i know that dream wasn't exactly where he wanted my life to be headed. this past christmas with my family was a dream come true in his own way. i spent the day with renay and caroline shopping, eating lunch, singing in the car as we drove from place to place. no, we aren't married anymore, but we both love this little girl so much, that our broken marriage is forgotten and we just love this little girl together.
christmas morning, i make german pancakes for everyone, even vegan ones for misty and jeremy, just like my dad did when i was growing up. only the picture of all of us together wasn't in my dreams long ago, but it was exactly what god had planned before i was born. misty, jeremy, sasha, bobbie, caroline, renay, pam and ms p. my family, all of them. strange family dynamics i know, but it works for us. god's healing of my heart has been amazing.
another dream fulfilled this past year was my knee replacement. no longer am i in constant pain. i am now a functioning humam being, i haven't felt like this in decades. my weight loss dream is being fulfilled daily. my dream of looking in the mirror and actually liking the person has been fulfilled. i will become grandma to a new grandchild this year. dreams fulfilled!
new dreams found are finding a church that is exactly where god wants me to be; to find new friends; maybe find a man who loves god as much as i do that wants to share my life; to grow in word and heart. become more of who i am supposed to be, who god has always planned for me to be. most of my dreams are filled with love, something i have no shortage of!
so 2012, let me start walking and break out into a run, and to remember that life's simple things can sometimes become life's greatest blessings. and that the pain we feel now will only be followed by our joy in the morning!
i first heard this song last year. it is called "blessings" by laura story. it really touched my heart and made me see things differently. may god place on your heart the need to draw closer to him this next year, i know he has placed that desire on mine.
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise
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That's my girl. Beautifully said.
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