is this heaven?

i have spent the last few days at the beach, the pool, walking, swimming, sitting on the floor playing pop the pig, fishing, watching, listening, laughing, singing, making sand castles, splashing in the ocean, driving the cart like a crazy driver down the aisle at the grocery store.... all with caroline by my side and without pain! sasha and bobbie have given me the pleasure of joining them on their last vacation before the baby comes.

this little brave girl rode a zipline high above the ground without hesitation. oh to have the faith of a child. there have been times in my life when i had no faith left and was far from brave. during those times i felt far away from god. looking back i realize i couldn't see him because he was behind me, lifting me up so i would not crash to the ground, kind of like falling from a zipline. i hear people say that god will never give you more than you can handle, i think he does give us more in order to show how much we need him by our side to help us through the rough times. to carry us when we can no longer walk on our own.

i also think that there are seasons in our life when he gives us so much joy, happiness, fulfills dreams and gives us so much love we can hardly take it in. that is where my heart is today, overflowing with so much i can't hold it in. the beauty i see outside my window here could only have come from his careful planning. the sounds of the birds, crickets and frogs are overwhelming, talking to each other i imagine, maybe listening to me and caroline talk and laugh as we play a game of pop the pig. the honeysuckles and flowers give off an amazing cleansing aroma that fills my senses. the stars at night are so bright and numerous, you know that only he could have placed each one there.

look at her! throwing sand back into the sea. laughing and running around, feeling that all is right in her world! she is so loved. i have watched bobbie and sasha interact with her like parents should. sometimes i tend to be the overly protective grandma...well maybe more than sometime... saying be careful more than i need to, and i have been lovingly told so by my son! they are good parents, good kids and will do the same for the precious baby boy bobbie is carrying.

i have had so much pain in my life, physically, mentally, emotionaly and spiritualy, but right now it is only the sting of the sun on my skin that gives me a little pain. my body, my heart, my mind and my spirit are all in the same place...full of joy! the kind of joy you dream about having, the kind that makes your heart sing, makes it feel like your feet aren't touching the ground.

 

the beauty in this picture could only have been painted by god, (and maybe a little photo shop!). he puts everything in exactly the right place. we may not always think that what is going on in our lives is where we are supposed to be, but is is exactly where he wants us to be. so for a few more days, i will be in what i can only call a glimpse of what heaven will be like! my joy has come in the morning for just a few days, and when i go back the the real world, i will always fondly remember and smile when i think about this week. i will be preparing my heart for the two grandsons i will welcome into my world this summer. thank you lord for a little heaven on earth!